ramblings and writings of a southern hobbit

The Reverse Reconstruction Program

Her Imperial Shortness, Nel Brandybuck, Empress of the Carolinas and Supreme High Ruler of Everywhere, has become increasingly alarmed at the declining state of those of her citizens residing north of the Mason-Dixon line. Moved with compassion and spurred to action by the pleading of her advisors, Her Imperial Shortness has initiated a three stage Reverse Reconstruction Program (RRP) ©. The Program shall proceed as outlined below:

Stage One

  • Rigorous “Eat Grits!” campaign
  • Complimentary sweet tea served with all meals in Northern Restaurants
  • Bluegrass bands to play the national anthem at all sporting events

Stage Two

  • School programs to educate children in the superior ways of Southerness instituted in all Northern public and private schools
  • Reverse Reconstruction Communes established in Southern states to acclimate Northerners to Southern climate and culture

Stage Three

  • Giant greenhouse built over all states north of the Mason-Dixon line to ensure that all the states of the Union experience reasonable weather year-round. ¹

¹The state of Alaska has been deemed exempt from this part of the program for logistical reasons and also because we do want to have snow sometimes.

Reverse Reconstruction Program (RRP) © 2009, Her Imperial Shortness. All Rights Reserved.

10 responses

  1. Der Nachtfalter

    Well if you really *want* me to move to Canada or Alaska and be far far away this is a very good plan ^_^ :P

    July 30, 2009 at 9:18 am

  2. Nel Brandybuck

    *laughs and laughs and laughs* I was inspired by your comment about me preparing a catapult to launch flaming pink bunnies at the North.

    July 30, 2009 at 9:24 am

  3. WanderingTraveler

    Oh good, you spared Alaska. My retirement home will still have lots of snow. ^_^

    July 30, 2009 at 5:24 pm

  4. Pooka

    haha…funny. :P i strongly object to her Imperial Majesty’s efforts to Southernize the country and will begin a campaign to protest, in which all protesters shall wear snowflake scarves and ski gloves in public, regardless of the weather.

    July 30, 2009 at 9:52 pm

  5. Pingback: Reconstruction v2.0 | Requiem Aeternam

  6. Der Nachtfalter

    I haz retaliated! All your base are belong to us!

    July 31, 2009 at 10:55 am

  7. Nel Brandybuck

    I am glad to see that my post has generated a fair amount of feedback. *is heartily amused, particularly by the grammar of her Northern cousin’s last comment…perhaps an English program should be added to the program?*

    August 4, 2009 at 6:12 pm

  8. Der Nachtfalter

    Poor hobbit cousin. You are probably too young to get the reference in my ungrammatical comment.

    August 5, 2009 at 6:03 pm

  9. Nel Brandybuck

    I have better things to catch than references. Like footballs. :nods:

    August 5, 2009 at 6:13 pm

  10. Nel Brandybuck

    Check out the responses to this post at Requiem Aeternam (http://themoth.edublogs.org/2009/07/31/reconstruction-v2-0/)and The Brighter Side of the Wall (http://wanderingtraveler.edublogs.org/2009/08/02/peace-plan/). Enjoy! :D

    February 7, 2010 at 12:34 am

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