ramblings and writings of a southern hobbit

I Feel Witty

Actually, I don’t feel witty.

And in this day and age, being witty is an extremely important life skill. Why? One word–Facebook.* It has been rumored that the purpose of Facebook is to help you connect with friends and family. This rumor has been circulated to mask the real purpose of Facebook: to show off one’s razor sharp wit with pithy status updates.

There’s just one problem. I can’t think of anything to witty to say. Generally speaking, when I’m Facebook I’m either at a coffee shop or I’m eating lunch in my room. I guess that explains why when I used a Facebook app to determine the words I use most often in status updates, my top words were “drinking” and “coffee.” Drinking coffee certainly is fun, but there’s a limit to how many times one can wittily and entertainingly  say “I’m drinking coffee.”

And look at what I have to compete with!*

  • Perhaps I’ll die of Oreo inhalation while I’m laughing raucously at one of my friends. Go out with a bang… that’s what I always say.
  • Well I’m bored..hmm…might as well check myspace…no friend requests, no wall posts…well I will always have you tom.
  • To all you haters out there… there is nothing wrong with sugar. Makes you taller, in fact. I recommend three heaping tablespoons of brown sugar with every meal. And chocolate syrup. LOTS of chocolate syrup.
  • My highlight of the day: Saw a coyote cross the road. He looked so happy and content. It was hard to imagine him plotting against Roadrunner.

I guess it’s part of the curse of having witty friends.

*There’s also Twitter and Myspace and Google Buzz. But nobody cares about them.

*Yes, these are real status messages really posted by my real Facebook friends.

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3 responses

  1. Ashley

    I like this. You have some really creative friends (not including me because my statuses are mundane and superficial). You always have witty ones as far as my news feed goes.

    July 16, 2010 at 4:53 am

    • But it’s so much fun to complain! *laughs* This post was really inspired by my status messages last summer, when I was always on Facebook after work in the coffee shop. I think they’ve improved lately, though I have a couple of friends that always manage to make me laugh. I don’t think I’ve quite reached their level of wittiness yet.

      July 16, 2010 at 2:33 pm

  2. :D

    June 22, 2012 at 2:17 am

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