ramblings and writings of a southern hobbit

Posts tagged “Facebook

Twitter-pated

For those of you who have been longing to buy an authentic star trek communicator or one of Shatner’s impeccably ripped shirts from the Star Trek OS episode “Amok Time,” you’re in luck! The Shatner Store is having a sale! And I would never have known if it weren’t for Twitter, the rich microblogging source of instantly updated information that makes it easier than ever to find out what your favorite celebrity had for lunch.

It’s still not quite as popular as the ubiquitous Facebook (or perhaps my data is simply skewed because Facebook is allowed on campus and Twitter still is not), but I finally had to come to grips with presence of Twitter after seeing multiple online news articles making use of politician’s tweets as sources. That got me thinking. We know what politicians and celebrities are thinking, but what would it be like to get inside the head of some famous authors?

If they had Twitter. . .

William Shakespeare

To tweet or not to tweet–that is the question.

Jane Austen

I just spent a dreadfully dull evening at a card party. I considered amusing myself by pouring tea on the gentlemen next to me.

Charlotte Bronte

There is no possibility of taking a walk today.

Lewis Carroll

‘Tis brillig and the slithy toves doth tweet and google in the wabe.

C.S. Lewis

Rather loudly exclaimed “I do not like peas!” while at a restaurant today and heard a child reply “me too!”

J.R.R. Tolkien

Received another letter from an “S. Gamgee” today. At least it wasn’t signed “S. Gollum.” That would be a good deal worse.

Cervantes

Acabo de acabar de escribir un libro acerca de un hombre loco que decidía hacer un caballero. Un día, seré famoso.

James Joyce

…this evening. I hate it. Took a walk around Dublin…


I Feel Witty

Actually, I don’t feel witty.

And in this day and age, being witty is an extremely important life skill. Why? One word–Facebook.* It has been rumored that the purpose of Facebook is to help you connect with friends and family. This rumor has been circulated to mask the real purpose of Facebook: to show off one’s razor sharp wit with pithy status updates.

There’s just one problem. I can’t think of anything to witty to say. Generally speaking, when I’m Facebook I’m either at a coffee shop or I’m eating lunch in my room. I guess that explains why when I used a Facebook app to determine the words I use most often in status updates, my top words were “drinking” and “coffee.” Drinking coffee certainly is fun, but there’s a limit to how many times one can wittily and entertainingly  say “I’m drinking coffee.”

And look at what I have to compete with!*

  • Perhaps I’ll die of Oreo inhalation while I’m laughing raucously at one of my friends. Go out with a bang… that’s what I always say.
  • Well I’m bored..hmm…might as well check myspace…no friend requests, no wall posts…well I will always have you tom.
  • To all you haters out there… there is nothing wrong with sugar. Makes you taller, in fact. I recommend three heaping tablespoons of brown sugar with every meal. And chocolate syrup. LOTS of chocolate syrup.
  • My highlight of the day: Saw a coyote cross the road. He looked so happy and content. It was hard to imagine him plotting against Roadrunner.

I guess it’s part of the curse of having witty friends.

*There’s also Twitter and Myspace and Google Buzz. But nobody cares about them.

*Yes, these are real status messages really posted by my real Facebook friends.