If you compare the human brain to a calculator, when it comes to sports my brain is a slide ruler competing with graphing calculators. No, wait. Make that an abacus. Or perhaps just paper and a pencil.
To be quite honest, I am totally incompetent at sports of any kind. Whatever part of the brain enables an individual to understand and play a sport is completely missing in mine.
There are only two occasions where I will agree to play any organized sport, family beach week and Thanksgiving. At these times all of the cousins are together and, chances are, one of them will say, “Hey, who wants to play football?” And for some reason, I always say yes.
On Thanksgiving there is more likelihood of other clueless females playing, so my incompetence is less evident. But last week during Beach Week 2009 all of the other girl cousins refused to play. It was my moment to shine.
After an entire game of running back and forth looking somewhat confused and not knowing the score, I finally caught the ball. I caught the ball. The ball had been thrown to me, and I had caught it. No fumble. No interception. I stood there amazed. My teammates yelled out to me to run, but before I could figure out which to direction to run the other team decided to stop being gentlemanly.
So we lost. But I caught the ball!